She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
