Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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