I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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