I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
