and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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