i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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