well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
