I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
