im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
