Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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