I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
