Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
