why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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