My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
