hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize