they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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