It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
