sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
