Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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