is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
