Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
