yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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