i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
