im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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