margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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