You're completely useless in the revolution.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
