the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
false alarm, still single
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
