Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
