The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
