I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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