If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
