Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
time to smoke my breakfast
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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