we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
