16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
