omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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