then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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