She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
