marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
