omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize