You're so nebulous sometimes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
