Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
