brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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