Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
