He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
