so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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