At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize