Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
of course. lets lasso hookers.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
