Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
