your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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