josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
