i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
