I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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