you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
