tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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