Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
