are you still at the devil's house?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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