You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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