tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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