The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
