drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
