Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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