I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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