god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
