I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
