This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this beer tastes like vomit already
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
