I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
