I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
