awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
