He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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