i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
