But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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