I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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