I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
