when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
