hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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