Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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