you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
