You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im part way to drunk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The power of my boobs compel you
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
